Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
It's shark week go big or go home
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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