I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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