I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Randomize
