Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
