I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
