I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
