wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
