my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Randomize