Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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