well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Walk of Shame today included voting.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
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