Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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