I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
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