you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
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