what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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