she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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