some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
What a dumb baby whore.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Randomize
