Life is so much better after having sex.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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