just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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