I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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