Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
