.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
