i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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