you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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