The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
