just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
