I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Randomize
