Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize