We're like a lot better than the average bears
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
