please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
