oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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