New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
