Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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