and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize