Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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