and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
