Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
