Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize
