addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
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