she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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