How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
