Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
she told me i tasted like america
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
