I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
