i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
