; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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