I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
