well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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