he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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