you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
