We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
