She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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