i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
i dont even know how to be here
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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