those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize
