Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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