I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
