i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
