Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize