Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
