I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
