whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize