Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
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